I Asked ChatGPT For Online And In-Person Dating Advice, Here’s What Relationship Coaches Think Of Their Answers

• People have used the ChatGPT generative AI chatbot for many tasks, from writing cover letters to coding.

• Insider asked dating coaches what they think of ChatGPT’s advice for online and in-person dating.

• Some of ChatGPT’s advice impressed the trainers, but they all think their jobs are secure.

Thanks to the advancement of technology, dating should be easier than ever, with various ways to meet people online, keep up with them on social media, and talk to them via text and video calls.

But even with multiple apps and slash options, it’s hard to know how to navigate the dating world.

Endless blog posts and guides explain how to approach someone you’re interested in, or even how to break up with someone. But now, artificial intelligence is involved.

Enter ChatGPT, a generative AI chatbot that’s been all over social media and in the news lately for helping job seekers write cover letters and tech company employees with software coding.

Insider asked ChatGPT for a variety of relationship advice, such as how to create a dating app profile and how to know when you want to marry your partner. Four online and in-person dating coaches weighed in on the chatbot’s advice, and while some found it impressive, none believe their jobs are at risk.

While some of the more general advice from ChatGPT can help, Amy Nobile, owner of dating advice service Love, Amy, said there are deeper layers to relationships that AI can’t reach.

“There’s tone, there’s insight, and there’s emotion, and all these nuanced human qualities,” Nobile said.

Below are some of ChatGPT’s answers to Insider relationship questions and what HR experts think of them.

Nobile said that ChatGPT’s advice to mention something in a man’s profile is “decent,” but that his advice to “be respectful and considerate of his feelings and boundaries” and be “safe and direct” doesn’t make sense, because it sounds more like advice for an in-person meeting.

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His first piece of advice is to have an opener that you use all the time.

“Ask a question that you genuinely care about the answer to,” Nobile said. Some examples include asking about her favorite podcast or brunch spot.

“I think the most modern advice is that you want fewer people to like your profile,” Nobile said. “You want to be so specific in your profile about what you want, who you are, and what you like, that you don’t get a million likes, that the people who like your profile are more aligned with you.”

Max Alley, an online dating coach who runs Match Up Online Dating Coaching in New York City, said examples of “complaining about past relationships” include saying “no connections” or saying you’re looking for people who are only willing to commit.

He said that one big thing that ChatGPT lacks is videos.

“It’s still new, but on Hinge and Tinder, video is the best type of content out there,” Alley said. It should be silly, funny, not super snooty, short, and it should have your voice.”

Having a video can help the algorithm to improve your profile.

Alley said she would advise against adding too many travel photos and would instead opt for photos from your life to show who you are on a day-to-day basis. She also said that she recommends a full-length photo and photos without sunglasses.

“In online dating, you want to stand out, whereas ChatGPT will show you what it thinks you should put on a dating profile,” Alley said.

Alley said that she talks about conversation strategies differently between men and women. ChatGPT’s advice is more geared toward men, Alley said, because they’re more relevant to courting someone. She said she sometimes recommends that women bring up controversial or heavy topics to test whether or not they are interested in a man.

“Women, when they come to me, say, ‘how do I screen this guy?’ because for straight women, oftentimes guys are ready to date them once they’ve hooked up,” Alley said. “The goal for women is not necessarily to generate attraction or create a connection, it’s to find out if this guy is a psychopath or not.”

Alley said she thinks some of ChatGPT’s advice could also apply to non-heterosexual couples.

Paris and Joseph Dixon, a married couple who run matchmaking agency and dating app RealBlackLove, said they would add if you ask someone out on a date, you should tell them why you want to go with that person.

“Find common reasons and then say, ‘Hey, I’d love to get to know each other a little more, would you like to hang out?'” Joseph said.

“Anyone who is cutting the cord or breaking up with someone, we have to consider the exact scenario,” Nobile said. “If someone has been rude or betrayed you in any way…it doesn’t have to be in person. It depends more on the situation and what led up to the breakup.”

Nobile said a person ending a relationship should also keep in mind protecting their own boundaries.

Paris said it’s also a good idea to practice breaking up and knowing what you’re going to say. Like Nobile, she said how the breakup plays out depends on how far apart you and your partner have been.

Paris said she would add that you have to qualify why you love the person.

“Understand why you’re in love and what you love about that person,” he said. “It’s just important that your partner knows that your feelings are genuine, but there’s a process to falling in love with someone, and there’s an emotional attachment that comes from the experiences.”

Nobile thought ChatGPT’s advice on how to know if you want to marry your partner was “very good” and that it reflects some of her own relationship advice.

“I have a three-four rule, so at the beginning of dating, you have to check four boxes,” Nobile said. “That’s connection and chemistry, alignment of core values, emotional maturity and availability, and preparation.”

Nobile said this advice is tricky, because someone might do all of these things for their own validation, not because they’re really interested.

“They can flirt, they can touch you, they can have sex with you, they can call you any beautiful name, they can text you all day, it literally doesn’t mean they like you,” Nobile said, or that they like you enough to look for one. deeper relationship.

Nobile said it’s a good point to remember that people can’t assume anything and that conversations about compatibility and core values ​​should happen early in the relationship.

Dealing with human behavior is “really difficult,” Nobile said. “You can’t give people one-size-fits-all answers.”

Joseph said he is not afraid that ChatGPT will put him and his wife out of a job.

“The goal is to get real-life feedback from someone who’s actually been through it,” Joseph said. “A robot has never gone through these feelings, these emotions, these situations.”

Read the original article on Business Insider